Mather

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  Mather

• Aug 23, 2021

ME: Man, remember when watermelon had seeds? I miss that, it sucks that it's not a thing anymore.

-wife buys watermelon with seeds-

ME: What the fuck is wrong with this watermelon.

WIFE: It has seeds.

ME: This is terrible, what were you thinking.

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• Aug 22, 2021

WIFE: I've come to terms with the fact that you are going to buy these speakers.

ME:

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• Aug 22, 2021

Okay fine, OKAY FINE ED SHEERAN YOU WRITE VERY GOOD POP SONGS I ADMIT IT. But if I hear "Bad Habits" one more time in my Uber rides to work I'm going to swallow a chainsaw.

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• Aug 21, 2021

Me: Look at these new speakers I found, they're TEAK!

Wife:

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• Aug 20, 2021

I'm pretty sure this Uber I'm in is powered by a lawnmower motor. And the shocks are just cinderblocks wrapped in saran wrap. If I die, this is the reason.

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• Aug 19, 2021

A co-worker of my good friend just bought a condo in Brooklyn NY from the guy who wrote the McSweeney's "It's Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckers" article. I'm fanboying the fuck out.
This is my Woodstock.

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  Mather

• Aug 16, 2021

Just finished 9 holes of golf with my wife where I almost winged like 2 different sets of people on adjacent holes due to a slice so epic that I was hitting greens 2 fairways over. But I twice hit MY green in two shots and this counts as the greatest 9 holes of golf I've ever played. The soundtrack of the day was frenetic surf rock and it really worked.

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• Aug 11, 2021

I demand to know why completely out of the blue my brain just made jazz hands at me while mysteriously uttering the word "Moommenschanz....".
WTF

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• Aug 6, 2021

Okay so, Dark Side Of The Moon and women's Olympic Indoor Volleyball. It works, I think it's all the slow mo replays. It may also be all the beer. Let's go with a combination of slo mo replays, and beer.

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• Aug 2, 2021

I'm heading to two record stores before I have to go back to my windowless control room until 3 am. QUICK WHAT SHOULD I BUY? CURRENTLY TAKING SUGGESTIONS

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• Aug 2, 2021

no more Olympics... please... make the hurting stop

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• Jul 29, 2021

Okay I know the Bowie Ziggy Mofi from 81 gets some shade from angry old Hoffmanites but holy hell it sounds so good.

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• Jul 28, 2021

Dear 2021, fuck you. You do not come for The Odenkirk.

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• Jul 27, 2021

Olympic show open broadcast tonight was so totally chaotic that myself and 2 other crew members who all quit smoking, went out and bought a pack on our break just so we could stand outside and smoke and be mad for like five minutes. It was necessary.

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• Jul 26, 2021

My brain isn't working anymore this week. Not sure how I'm going to get through the next two nights of broadcasts. I am fried.

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• Jul 26, 2021

Olympic Broadcast Day 3 in the books.
Brain is officially mush.
Thank God there's only...
-checks notes-
13 more days of this.
-walks into lake-

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• Jul 25, 2021

Dog #2 has learned how to get out of our backyard. The only way out of our backyard is to climb over a six foot wooden fence. The dog has learned to climb over the six foot wooden fence.
What the actual fuck.

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• Jul 24, 2021

Olympic Broadcast Day One
2 am, still on air
Only 98 km's to go in road race
Oh god why

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• Jul 22, 2021

I have to go through rapid Covid testing at work every day. Which means we have to wait for fifteen minutes in a little cubical before we can actually enter the studios. I have decided that I very much appreciate the 15 minutes of forced quiet contemplation before entering the studio. I think the 15 minute wait should be mandatory.

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• Jul 21, 2021

Sitting at work waiting to start the Olympics broadcast, they gave me a Tokyo 2020 lanyard with my name and job and picture on it. I'm not sure why but I care a great deal for this lanyard, it's my favorite new thing. I think I have issues...