Needles & Grooves

Both fully loaded speeders just blew up mid chase at full speed with a spectacular computer animated explosion and then the camera cuts to their stunt doubles lightly falling onto the sandy ground unhurt like they'd hopped off a chair in grade 4 Phys Ed onto a gym mat.

-huge shot of bourbon-

Oh thank Christ they all sunk into the desert and died. IT'S OVER OH MY GOD THANK THE GOOD LORD IT'S OV-AHHHH FACK WAT

Well at least it's almost ov-AN HOUR AND FIFTY MINUTES LEFT WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL THERE IS NO GOD

hold on to your butts

The best thing I can say about this film four hours in-

-checks watch-

Thirty four minutes in, is that Poe and Finn are totally a couple and I'm on board, I want them to have a daily talk show together where they will playfully bicker and I will watch and have a tri-martini lunch and LAP THAT SHIT UP

HOLY FUCK I THINK I'M OUT OF BEER

Chewie just got nabbed by border patrol while his ship is SITTING RIGHT FUCKING THERE WITH IT'S ENGINES ON READY TO GO AND ALL THE HERO'S IN IT AND THE ENTIRE SQUAD OF ELITE TROOPERS DON'T NOTICE IT BECAUSE THEY'RE PUTTING A DOG COLLAR ON CHEWI- I can't... I just can't

Okay Rey grabbing the ship and Kylo walking out of the flaming wreckage is pretty cool I'll give that credi- NOW IT'S FORCE TUG OF WAR OH FUCK O-

Why is Kylo Ren's scar different in every film.

Chewie is fine guys, his ship blew up but... It was the other ship that he wasn't on so it's oka-

-hits self in head with hammer-

"That crazy thing you thought happened? Nah, don't worry, it was fake" is the thesis for the entire sequel trilogy I think

3PO just did a teary monologue to camera, apparently I still have an hour and thirty minutes to go. Excuse me a moment I need to find two bricks to sandwich into my head.

Poe just go with the Quarian from Mass Effect, quite frankly her trilogy has more credibility than yours these days. (If you get this reference you are truly a dork like me)

dont worry palpatine is a clone

Hux?? That Harry Potter motherf-

Are you still watching the film with no jeopardy? It does go on a bit!

FWIW I enjoyed it lol

How'd you like that stadium full of sith just cheering like they're at a football game and then all scurrying around like cockroaches while they get smashed by rocks. Good times...

I also haven't seen this one. Imagine that, I finally made a good life choice.

OMG. Mather - you just live streamed this movie and it is delightful.

I am definitely watching this now - not because it sounds good but because I want to see what all these comments are about.

It's fine.