Needles & Grooves

Yo, can we just keep the wool over our eyes for a little longer... please?

Earmuffs.

Lemme tell you a story about trying to do everything right and still having the universe stick it to you without lube

Yeah but at least you didn't have them all individually shipped to you in their own packaging via multiple different couriers' supply chains at varying degrees of efficiency, and return several of them along the way when they didn't meet very exacting specifications.

Oh? Oooh.

Oh, dear.

Maybe just lean into it. From here on out it’s nothing but baby seal burgers shipped overnight in styrofoam and triple boxed, roasted directly over mass-market coal.

Yeah but I bet your scooter gets great mileage.

can't hear y'all... I'm listening to music...

@BjorgenFjorgen it does! It's electric! And runs on a lithium battery roughly the size of a suitcase which I'm sure is totally healthy for the planet-DAMMIT

Your bed, food and flooring sound lousy though.

@HiFi Guy I'll give you the food and flooring, but I will fight you to the death over my mattress. This is the most comfortable and best made mattress on the gawddamn planet. And it's healthy to boot.

TO.
THE.
DEATH.

It’s comfortable, but it doesn’t play music was my point.

I see, but no you're right my food and flooring suck monkey nuts. No fun at all.