Needles & Grooves

It's good. And heavy. And slow. You'll think your turntable has a 16 setting you accidentally turned on.

HAHAHA

If you can’t crank it up to ear splitting levels, break out the headphones and damage your hearing that way.

Oh, it will be cranked. Mark my words.

You know, with the addition of this tiny audiophile grade widget you’ll really hear it come alive. Plz call for pricing and have your credit card ready.

Is... Is there any gold on it? I feel like I'm really lacking in the "gold audiophile component thingy" department...

Oh there’s definitely gold on it

Okay I've got several credit cards here, I'm just going to send them to you.

While we’re at it, may I interest you in some premium, audiophile-grade exterior lighting?