Needles & Grooves

Yup.

We here at (Random Corporate Entity) empathize with your difficult feelings towards Women's Day and all it represents, and the various ways in which we are making it better, for ungrateful women, like you, every day.

And that's why for every complaint about rampant consumerism this Women's Day (Random Corporate Entity) will increase the yearly bonus payout to our executive branch so that they can buy their mistresses flowers. Because we all know that chicks dig flowers. Thank you and God bless.

It's a good reminder that women have full equality the world over.