Let's just cut straight to the chase here. How do you feel about heavily armed mythical lawyers? Because I can make some calls. I'm sure Sasquatch L.L.B. could hit up a Tim Hortons on the way over.
Semi on topic, but a coffee-gram type service should totally be a thing. Like I go to a website, order a coffee and it gets delivered to you. Come to think of it, I suppose Skip, Door Dash or Uber would do it. But something more direct would be great. Because, I'd gladly send you a coffee.